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Times Tables

by Gage Pabst

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1.
Table Crumbs 04:12
Write me down To write me off Teaching me how to walk While they’re cutting their legs off Write this down And you’ll be hopping over your hands in this old town I’ve been lesser off Than when collecting the crumbs off your table cloth
2.
This shirt It rests On my shoulders Like the rest Of these burdens that I Keep picking back up Keep picking back up Keep picking back up These burdens that I Keep picking back up Keep picking back up Keep picking back up They say this one’s gunna follow me One of those stains that never comes clean Exclaim I am all alone With open doors and windows Never walk too far from my phone You say to let go Because you love me And cus of all of these burdens that I Keep picking back up Keep picking back up Keep picking back up These burdens that I Keep picking back up Keep picking back up Keep picking back up Never follow Ever falter Never carry More than I can borrow Ever hollow Never dying Caught up in REM cycle crying Tie me to this tree Oh, my siren beckoning On this earth lovely As my nails bleed from all of the anxiety And from all of these burdens that I Keep picking back up Keep picking back up Keep picking back up These burdens that I Keep picking back up Keep picking back up Keep picking back up
3.
Don't 04:15
I feel you feeling I’m feeling all too much The Spirit’s touch is realer than we’ve ever known I hear you’re learning about give and take But give and take will break your bones if they don’t give And how did you think this would be? Did you romanticize everything? These teeth quit growing some time ago And the moon’s decay is oh so slow So let’s grow So let’s grow
4.
Come Back 05:42
Well, are your feet giving way? As you’re losing your say Under the weight of the shame Thy tempest having its day You said you knew where we were going You had me all figured out You bought yourself a silver platter And on it spilled your guts out Now here I am all caught up Wishing that you could come back Just know that if you ever want to You don’t have to be intact So bring your trouble my way I won’t even sway We’ll stare your darkness in the eye You know where you reside You thought you found it Thought you got it Thought you shot it down You found yourself a little hole You’ve got a hole right in the ground I’ve told you once I’ll tell you twice But I won’t tell you again Why do I always find you going down this road my friend? So bring your trouble my way I won’t even sway We’ll stare your darkness in the eye You know where you reside
5.
Now I 05:12
Now I Now I Now I Now I know what it’s like falling Now I Now I Now I Now I know what it’s like falling It wasn’t up to me To say the thing That I’ve been thinking Since the beginning It wasn’t up to me To say the thing That I’ve been feeling Since the beginning Now I Now I Now I Now I know what it’s like falling Now I Now I Now I Now I know what it’s like falling It wasn’t up to me To say the thing That I’ve been thinking Since the beginning It wasn’t up to me To say the thing That I’ve been feeling Since the beginning Now I Now I Now I Now I am trusting more than my feelings They’re always deceiving Now I Now I Now I Have more than just the past to believe in Something I’m seeking Humble and meek and More than my lover The God of my fathers The God of my mothers The God of my sisters The God of my brothers Who knows what I want? If I don’t know myself? Who knows what I want? If I don’t know myself? If I don’t know myself Then I’ll have to rest and hope If I don’t know myself Then I’ll have to rest and trust
6.
I can mess up this more than you thought I can mess up this more than you thought Have I only been forgiving myself? Have I even been forgiving myself? Have I only been forgiving myself? Have I even been forgiving myself? Well I don't know why I try
7.
Rung Cutters 04:44
Cutting rungs with your tongue And you didn't know what you were doing Standing tall watch us fall And you'll hardly ever find your fault Golden leaves up your sleeves Never really there for your taking Ideology of a Generation seeking something Being degraded, deconstructed By a group who cannot see The goodness in asymmetry Ideals unique to you and your immediate family I'm drowning I'm drowning I'm drowning I cannot breathe You cannot breathe You must release Give up the game and let the people be Whispering sweet nothings In the ears of all your present lovers Pulpit pews Dazed confused Still buried in the soil of your fathers Nothing new Somewhat true Fire caught and burned all of the others Culture cues 2+2 Riddle that and then go find another Generation seeking something Being degraded deconstructed By a group who cannot see The goodness in asymmetry Ideals unique to you and your immediate family Don't smoke Don't shout Don't stand Don't pout Don't sing Don't cry Don't lift those hands high Don't hop Don't skip Don't say that shit Don't bail Don't buy Don't sin Don't cry
8.
Time of Day 04:06
I saw you calling I heard you calling And I turned my back I saw you crying I heard you crying In a heart attack Who are you now? I would love you so much better now And is that all? You said it’s all But is it all? Thought you were lesser So much lesser In that you’d never read that book Thought I was better So much better Than all those filthy crooks And how have you been? I’m so sorry for all my sins Time of day O Father fall like snow How often I betray the truths I know And they say, “When you know you’ll know” Time of day O Father fall like snow And is that all? You said it’s all But is that all? Cus I’m not sure about it at all
9.
Well, if your talk is always in your sleep And you’ve been checking on old friends to see If they’ve been living the life that you should lead And if the robots are barring their teeth I thought I told you that it all falls down? I thought I told you that it all comes ‘round? Well are we walking with our eyes shut? Are we walking with our eyes shut? Merely walking with our eyes shut? Only walking Walking We all can find someone It’s ingrained in us But what of life alone? Full and heaven spoke Well I can’t even anymore Feels like I’m Dreaming with my eyes shut Am I dreaming with my eyes shut? Merely dreaming with my eyes shut? Only dreaming Dreaming To follow full Lay it down in the public pool To carry on And be alarmed Well are we praying with our eyes shut Are we praying with our eyes shut Merely praying with our eyes shut Only praying Praying

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released May 28, 2021

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Gage Pabst Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

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